I can't sell myself.
Perhaps it's modesty, perhaps lack of self-confidence, perhaps sheer terror.
Whatever.
It all comes down to this: I have no idea what to say in a personals ad. After 31 years, it has become quite evident to me that I appeal to a very limited subset of single men. Maybe it's time for some highly-targeted marketing? I don't like walks on the beach. (I hate the feel of sand.) Dogs scare me. I need someone who has read more than one book in the past year. Non-negotiable items: Christian, wants kids, likes my cats, intelligent, fiscally responsible (i.e., doesn't think it's ok to run up $50K on his credit card buying himself toys, while working 15 hours a week for minimum wage and living in mom's basement)
For a year or so, I've rolled around the idea of "the personals project" in my head. "What is it?" you so rightly ask. Simply this: my friends write ads for me. I figure that some of them must see things that I miss. Jenell & Colleen suggested last night that I blog it and open it up to y'all. So go ahead - find me a man!
Don't be afraid to type. (Yes, I'm looking at you, Amy!) I have the power to delete anything I find offensive or you regret saying.
(PS - did I ever mention that several years ago at my brother's wedding I offered a $1000 bounty to the person who introduces me to the man of my dreams? Enough inspiration to get your little fingers tapping away?)
Posted by rachel at April 12, 2004 11:47 AM
Here goes:
Fairy Princess-Haired Bookworm SWF seeks SM to cook chili for, read books with, and with whom to smirk at prepostions at the end of sentences. You like: kids, cats, intelligent coversation and thought, living as a Christian, and being debt-free. You're not so sporty, don't live with your parents, and don't use personal ads as your only method for meeting people. Impress me with your wit and I might bestow you with banana bread and kisses...the order of delivery depends on you.
Posted by: kp at April 12, 2004 01:43 PMHow can I follow that??? It's PERFECT!
Posted by: Colleen at April 12, 2004 06:20 PMHonestly KP, quit your job now.
Rachel, do you want to add the veggie part or are you going to be okay with a meat eater?
Posted by: carla barnhill at April 14, 2004 08:24 AMAh. Round 2.
31 year old SWF Simpsons-Enthusiast WebSavvy Vegetarian looking for Christian (but not nerdy)SM to share life, church, fixing up the house, good food, and laughs. Equal opportunity exists for those low on high-fives and high on intellect. Know your books, world history, and tell a good story; the next story you tell might be ours.
Posted by: kp at April 14, 2004 10:10 AMYou know, all the guys I've dated have been meat-eaters. I just made them brush their teeth before I'd kiss them. Veg would be ideal, but I can live with non-veg as long as they don't expect me to cook dead animals for them.
KP's really on a roll! Perhaps I need to offer some kind of prize as incentive for the rest of you? Maybe a WTFWJD bracelet for the most appealing ad? Or a jar of apple butter?
Posted by: Rachel at April 14, 2004 12:44 PMmmm...apple butter....
Posted by: carla barnhill at April 14, 2004 03:52 PMSee, this is why I don't comment very often. Maybe I'll just cut and paste and pretend its mine:
31 year old SWF Simpsons-Enthusiast WebSavvy Vegetarian looking for Christian (but not nerdy)SM to share life, church, fixing up the house, good food, and laughs. Equal opportunity exists for those low on high-fives and high on intellect. Know your books, world history, and tell a good story; the next story you tell might be ours.
Use this. Seriously.
Posted by: Anna Resele at April 15, 2004 09:42 AMkudos kp!!! rachel, where will you post these personal ads? i'm anxious to see the results.
Posted by: Shelley pagitt at April 21, 2004 11:10 AMShelley, I'll probably use the ad in my match.com profile (if I ever make it public and start seriously looking for a date). Unfortunately, there aren't any ads other than the ones KP wrote. :( But it's not too late to participate!
Posted by: Rachel at April 21, 2004 01:08 PM
way to call out Amy!
i am excited for this project! give me time, sister!
Posted by: kp at April 12, 2004 12:07 PM