Sometimes I forget that people outside my little circle of friends can read this thing. I feel strange and vulnerable today. I'm still pondering some deeper thoughts, but don't feel like I can write about them right now.
The office is still cold. I keep swearing because my hands hurt. (I've also been swearing because of some of the stupid people I work with, but that's a topic for another day.)
Several days ago I bumped the Lexapro back up to 20mg, but split it in half so that I'm not getting the megadose right before bed. The dreams have been... vivid... but not disturbing, per se. So I'm going to continue with this for another week or so and see how it goes. In my dream the first night I found myself in Alaska, where I ran into my boyfriend from high school. "I've wondered for so long what you've done and who you've become," I said. We stepped easily back into love and I realized how much I miss that feeling.
A later dream (that night, the next?) had us wandering through the Louvre. The room we were in had art arranged according to visual relationships, rather than by period or artist. So a spindle-legged canopy bed was next to a metal sculpture with tall, thin bars which echoed the bed's spindles. And next to the sculpture was a painting of trees, then a chair with arms that curved like the branches in a painting. And on and on it went, around the room. Figuring out the relationships became a guessing game, as some were fairly obscure. Now I want to see if I can create something similar online.
In other news, I have a new computer. (She is pretty and shiny and I shall name her "Sparkle!") I spent the weekend sleeping and transferring files to Sparkle from the old laptop. And sleeping. Did I mention I'm tired? Because I am. Tired and cold. Mar and I ditched Pilates on Sunday and I spent the afternoon cleaning viruses off her computer and watching "Starsky and Hutch" with her and Anna. Peopled-out after that, I stayed home rather than going to church because I just wanted to sit at home and pet the cats.
Posted by rachel at May 2, 2005 12:49 PM