I've been thinking a lot this week about what it means to live an embodied life.
It's not something I've done much of; it seems like all my life I've been taught to deny and ignore and even hate my body. The hatred came from a culture that told me my worth came from the way I looked and the size I wore. My inability to shrink and mold myself into the airbrushed perfection led me to loath my recalcitrant body.
Later, my sojourn through evangelical culture led me to believe that only spirit mattered. The body was, at best, a distraction from "higher things," never mentioned except in terms of what I shouldn't do (i.e. sex). As Jenell wrote today (about a slightly different topic), "First, I thought it was because they're all evangelical - so uncomfortable with the body that sexuality is hidden and comes out inappropriately." There was never any mention of the value of our physical natures.
It's with great gratitude that I realize I've spent the past few years learning to be embodied once more. How wonderful to be surrounded by people who understand that God cares about every aspect of our being and existance - including our bodies. I love being surrounded by people who love the co-op and healthy eating, yoga and pilates, massage, and frank discussions of all the things involved in being human - whether physical or mental or spiritual.
So I am learning to dwell in my body, to accept it as my home, rather than treating it as a cheap motel I'm just temporarily crashing in until I find something better. This is hard. Everything I see on tv and in print tells me I don't measure up. I'm still struggling to find the healthy balance between flesh & spirit. How do they combine? How does God speak to me through the early morning breeze or the soft melting of butter on warm bread or kissing someone I love or the pain of sore muscles after Mar's pilates class?
Posted by rachel at December 7, 2005 07:40 PM