I'm sure that some of you will just, you know, want to just laugh at this:
Just - "One official, obviously becoming irritated by the topic, continued, "And that's not even the end of it! Not only do humans continually ask God to 'just' do 47 things, but then they add another 85 things that they're 'just' doing! 'I just want to thank You for Your grace,' 'I just want to lift up my mom to You,' 'I just praise You today.' No! See if you just wanted to praise Him today you'd be done now! But you're NOT, are you!?"
Other thoughts running through my head today:
Just a peek into my world: I created the pages for The Berry Patch and worked on an initial site design for Ivy Beckwith on Friday. I know there are still some problems with the Berry Patch site, but I won't be able to fix them until I see the site on a PC; it looks fine on my Mac, but there's always something that shifts out of place or doesn't work quite the way you think it will.
Lots of strange dreams the last few days. In one, it was my wedding, but the groom didn't show up and I didn't know who he was, so I couldn't even call to see whether he was ever coming. In another, I looked out the office window, only to find the backyard filled with 6-foot tall sunflowers and weeds. I remember being shocked they could grow so fast, since I mowed the lawn Thursday evening. I wonder what my subconscious is telling me?
I am now debating whether to spend my morning cleaning the house (one of those shoulds in my life) or going out for coffee, buying some fabric, and working on a craft that interests me. I think I may do the coffee thing.
Who says food can't be cute? Here are some friends for octodog. I especially like the elephant, though the shark & flowers are fun, too.
I have been thinking a lot about KP's discussion of being too much. That's never been my problem. (Well, once in 6th grade my friend & I laughed too loud during lunch and because of us the whole class had to eat at our own desks, rather than being able to sit with our friends.)
Rather than being told I'm too much, I tend to feel never enough. I am not: thin enough, cute enough, perky enough, smart enough, funny enough, outgoing enough, tidy enough, self-confident enough, athletic enough, organized enough, career-oriented enough, successful enough, fashionable enough, sexy enough, happy enough, spiritual enough.
With all these perceived shortcomings, I truly do feel amazed when people want to be friends or hang out with me. Actually sitting and typing out that list, though, makes me realize just how ridiculous the whole thing is. I am me. Who is the mythically perfect enough girl with whom I compare myself? And "Enough for whom?" is the question I should ask myself.
My coworker came over to my desk this morning to ask for my advice, because he wanted to put links to his wedding registries on a webpage. When I suggested Blogspot, he high-fived me! And then once called his fiance & set up the page, he called me over to his desk and told her to thank me. Gee, that's not awkward or anything. She sounded about as thrilled as I felt.
On a lighter note, Aidan seems to be fully recovered from her recent dental work. And - wonder of wonders - Brigit shows no interest in Aidan's new canned food. This is good, as I don't want to feed them both soft food & I don't have the time or interest to watch over Brigit and keep her away from Aidan's dish. And the icky smell hasn't made me vomit yet, though I've had to install an odor-removing fan in the kitchen.
The house next door will be on the market very soon. Any of you want to buy it? The neighborhood is great & it's so close to the park & lake. The floorplan is similar to mine, but not exactly the same. There's a big vegetable garden out back & the kitchen was just redone.
On Wednesday morning, I came downstairs to find Aidan drooling, unable to eat, and generally acting really weird. I rushed her to the vet, sure that she had been poisoned by some of the new plants on the front porch, only to be told that her teeth needed cleaning and one was broken.
Ok, I thought. Not a huge deal.
So I brought her back to the vet this morning for a little dental work. They just called me to say that the few teeth she had were either broken or abscessed, so they had to pull them. All she has left now are her incisors. So it's stinky soft food from now on.
I feel awful! I had no idea she was in so much pain! We haven't been to the vet for a few years, but she & Brigit seemed to be doing fine. And, since they don't go outside, there was no pressure to get the rabies shots every year. But now I wonder if I would have been able to prevent this? Or is it just the trouble that comes with an old cat? She must be - what? - about 7 or 8 years old now. I don't know exactly, since I adopted her from the Humane Society.
I am a bad kitty-mom. :(
Psalm 113 is really not a good choice for Mother's day. Because frankly, hearing it read feels like a knife being stuck in and twisted. Yes, sometimes God "... settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children." But often he doesn't. And being told that he does (especially on a day which makes childlessness even more difficult) really seems like a slap in the face. I am left wondering "why?" If he does, then why not me, or Jenell, or Alicia, or any of the other women I know who long for children?
Engagment announcements twist the knife a little more.
When I came home last night, I had to work my way through alleys and down streets I don't normally drive. Two trees fell across streets right by my house, completely blocking the way. Fortunately, my big cottonwood is still standing, with only one small limb down. A long piece of flashing tore off my roof and landed crumpled in the front yard. But driving to work through Como Park this morning was like driving through a war zone. I cannot envision the force of the wind that was able to snap trees off as if they were toothpicks. Once house that I always admire had a huge maple stuck through several second-story windows.
I wanted to stay home from church last night, but was signed up to bring food & help with the toddlers. Now I'm glad I wasn't at home when the storm hit.
The cottonwood will probably have to be removed, unfortunately. If it falls, it will take out the back of the house.
Today I returned stuff at Target, went to the library, mowed the yard, raked up 3 bags of leaves that fell after I had finished raking last fall, watered the flowers, took the plastic off the windows, and painted the kitchen ceiling. I bought this cool ceiling paint at Home Depot; it goes on pink and dries white. Very helpful for making sure I didn't miss a spot, though it looks kind of funny at the moment.
Check out Jenell's new site! Oh so lovely and up-to-date!
And my lovely niece.
My new computer for work finally got ordered today. It's only taken them a month since I got them the initial bid. And I'm getting a 19" flat-panel monitor! Woo-hoo!
I found the growing absurdity of this amusing.
Only 1.5 more hours in the office this week.
All the trees on campus are blooming and it's beautiful. Everything smells wonderful, too. I wish I had one of the crabapples in my yard.
I finally saw photos of my niece Catherine. It made me cry, but (I think) in a good way.
This morning I discovered an unopened (but forgotten) tin of Citrus Sours Altoids on my endtable.
1. Kansas City, MO
2. Wichita, KS
3. Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
4. Detroit, MI
5. Louisville, KY
6. Greensboro/Winston-Salem, NC
7. Atlanta, GA
8. Pittsburgh, PA
9. Houston, TX
10. Charlotte, NC
In the past week I've put in more than 25 hours of work for freelance clients and a special project at the U, in addition to my usual 36 in the office. And it's nowhere near done. I am tired.
Many times I've thought that I should write something, but I just don't have the energy to try to string words together into something that will entertain people. I am tired.
I have not painted the kitchen. I have not mowed the lawn or raked up the leaves left from last fall. I have not put away the dishes or cleaned the litter boxes. I have not slept much.
The two joys in my life this week have been the beautiful blooming tulips and my walking book. For 15 minutes before & after work each day, I've been reading The Emperor of Scent as I walk between my car & the office. The science of how we smell and what we smell is fascinating. There have been moments where I've felt that my brain was expanding & forming new connections as I tried to grasp the explanations of relevant chemistry or physics principles.
Just to amuse y'all, I thought I'd pass this on. Yesterday I was looking at match.com and this guy showed up as an "excellent personality match" for me. Why do I think they're wrong?
"hi my name is john i am a hunter. i hunt deer and other big game. i all so like to hunt brids. i would like to find a woman to go hunting with. long walks in the woods is vary romantic."
