This morning I was walking to work on the same sidewalk I've trod for the past 5 years. I looked up and noticed a sign that said "Begin". 15 feet further was "Notice" and just beyond that was "No parking or stopping."
How is it that I've never noticed these before, even though I know they've been there all along?
I feel like they are telling me something today.
Begin. Notice. No stopping.
What is beginning?
I am trying to open my eyes more, to be aware of what God may be doing around me.
And, on a possibly-related note, a few small victories. I hadn't noticed any results from working out for a month, which was somewhat discouraging. (Others had commented, but I mentally wrote it off as being caused by new jeans that were more flattering.) But during last night's massage Mar could tell my legs were different. And this morning I put on a shirt I haven't worn for a few months and the sleeves were slightly loose, whereas before I felt a bit like sausage-arm girl. Small successes, but I will keep them in mind.
Sitting on the living room floor, watching Brigit sprawl across the carpet, I am overwhelmed with a fierce love for my cats. What abandonment, to fling legs around with wild freedom, exposing her belly to the world. She must feel safe. I see the pale pink skin between the white and black hairs. My sweet babycat. Her green eyes gaze at me, the color of peridot and early spring leaves.
Yesterday I visited friends in southern MN. At lunch, the 6-year-old asked me several times if I had kids or a husband. No, I said. "Why are you alone?" he asked. I explained that sometimes it takes people a while to find the right person to marry. He looked slyly at his grandfather sitting at the far end of the table, then whispered to me, "Not him." No, I agreed, his grandpa wasn't the right guy for me. He laughed. I hope that someday he will remember that it's ok if your life follows a different path, one that doesn't involve marrying young and having tons of children right away.
Every time I go there, I find that I've moved farther and farther than mainstream evangelicalism. I suspect that if my friend realized this, she'd say I was "worldly" and fear that I've walked away from God, if not lost my salvation. And yet that's so untrue. God loves me. I love God back, in whatever ways I can. I rest secure in this, the way Brigit and Aidan are secure in my love. I do not fear.
Kerry's water just broke. Pray that little Zeke (or Zeke-ette) arrives quickly and safely.
About a month ago I went to the ATM, only to discover that somehow I was overdrawn. I was pissed, as I'd transferred in some cash a few days before and couldn't figure out what was wrong. Well, now I know. When paying my credit card online, I accidently typed a 2 instead of a 1. Yep. That's the sound of $1000 unexpectedly being sucked out of my checking account.
Oh well. At least I don't have to pay anything this month.
St. Paul's Historic Summit Avenue by Ernest Sandeen
I enjoyed looking at the old photos and hearing about what Summit was like over a century ago. Now I want to take this when I go for a walk this summer, so that I can compare the old photos to what the houses currently look like. If you like history & architecture, you'll probably find this interesting.
Waltzing the Cat by Pam Houston
I really wanted to like this. Really, I did. Largely because KP recommended it. But I found the short stories eminently forgettable and had to force myself to finish.
Wind and Water: Your Personal Feng Shui Journey by Carole Hyder
This was one of the better feng shui books I've read. Each page is a stand-alone topic, which makes it easy to pick up and flip through at random. She does a lot with mirrors and crystals, which I don't like, but much of the information is just common sense.
Murder Boogies with Elvis by Anne George
I don't like books where the characters are "kwirky" (that's "quirky" with a "k" - in other words, faux quirky). This book had kwirky characters in abundance. Unfortunately, that distracted me from the story itself, which might have been enjoyable under other circumstances.
Unraveled Sleeve by Monica Ferris
This one would probably appeal to you if you like mysteries set in northern Minnesota resorts or mysteries that focus on cross stitch and needlepoint. Since neither of those are my passions, I wasn't particularly impressed.
Killer Wedding by Jerrilyn Farmer
You know, I picked this up from the stack by my nightstand and found myself asking, "Did I read this?" I did, which tells you how memorable it was.
The Body in the Bouillon by Katherine Hall Page
More brain candy. I've read other books in this series and tend to enjoy them, though I don't hunt them down.
Dear Miss Demeanor : A Claire Malloy Mystery by Joan Hess
Entertaining brain candy, but nothing that I'd search out. I can't really remember anything about it, and I only finished reading a few days ago.
Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn
Lots of new-agey your thoughts magnetize the energy around you and draw things to you. So focus on the feelings you have when thinking about stuff you want, not negative feelings. Some of it makes sense, as it makes sense to me that your thought life can have a big effect on your emotions. But I don't buy the "you had an accident or got cancer or lost your job because you were sending out negative vibrations and brought it on yourself" stuff. Blaming children for getting lukemia is just stupid. Overall, I don't really recommend this book, though I am trying to be more conscious of my thought patterns now.
The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach
I was hoping to really like this one, but it reads like an expanded chapter from one of his other books. Here's the secret: Sign up for your 401K and put in as much as you can. Have them set it up for automatic deposits. (He makes a big deal of this, though it seems like a no-brainer to me. Does any company or bank not do automatic deposits these days?) You should also set up automatic deposits into a money market account or something similar. My recommendation: check this one out from the library. There. I've saved you $20 that can go straight into savings. Remember than in 60 years when compound interest has made you rich.
I'm not afraid to cut my own hair.
I think it looks pretty cute when I do.
I am the power-tool wielding diva of Ryde St.
My house is better because of me.
I know a lot more than I realize.
My skills are valuable.
Sometimes I make people laugh (and not just because I wear two different shoes).
Kids like me.
I boldly painted my kitchen bright orange.
My cats live contented lives because of me.
I am strong in so many ways.
I am learning to take care of and honor my body and spirit.
I pay off my credit card bills every month.
I know how to entertain myself.
I pick up new skills easily.
Trees make me happy.
So do moss, cutting the grass, napping on the porch, and eating grapefruit.
My fashion-sense has gotten better.
I write quirky poetry because it makes me happy.
I just solved a complex coding problem at work that has puzzled me for a week. Yay me!
What do you like about yourself today?