Well, I ran out of candy by 7pm this year. Had to send one kid in the last group away without anything, which made me a little sad. But he was old enough that it probably wasn't a big deal.
So: gum is far more popular than peanutbutter cups (this year) or snickers (last year). This year I had about 20 kids show up (about 15 in a 10-minute span) in an hour. In past years I was lucky to get a dozen in 3 or 4 hours.
Ah well. I've done my good deed for the night & passed on the joy of taking candy from strangers to the next generation.
Note: as requested, DrumBoy will henceforth be known as LDB (little drummer boy)
God does not show favoritism.
God's righteousness is above & beyond the law of the prophets.
Everyone has the same common experience of sin & redemption in Jesus.
What does this imply about salvation in general?
All of humanity is invited to be part of the glory of God. Paul argues that they were not required to become Jews in order to take part. How then can we require that they become Christians? Is it possible to follow God & take part in God's kingdom without having to officially affiliate with a particular religion or group of people?
The law was intended to show the need for faith & for people to be connected to God. Not to make us feel better about ourselves (because we follow it). How far does God's glory extend? Beyond the church? Beyond the Bible? Beyond Christianity?
God's promise is for all people. All who have faith like Abraham are included, regardless of their background or status.
Sin is not the point. New life is. We not created to be vessels of sin. We were created for righteousness, to be part of God's agenda in the world. The good news of Jesus is that the invitation is extended to all, not just a subset of humanity.
The goal is to integrate the normalcy of our life with the hopes & dreams of God.
Yesterday afternoon I cleaned out the front gardens, preparing them for winter. All the milkweed stalks and scraggly brown stems of what used to be a summer burst of snowflakes are now gone. It looks neater, but somewhat barren. And yet I know that, despite the look of emptiness and death, next spring's life is waiting just below the surface, preparing to burst forth and surprise me with the joy of color after a long, gray winter.
Once done with the front, I moved to the plantings along the side of the house. I've been neglectful all summer, and it shows. There were a few small trees growing that I'm not sure I'd even noticed. And when I say small, I mean more than 4 feet tall, with a trunk almost twice as big as my thumb! Chopping those suckers down wasn't easy, but my trusty bypass pruners did the trick. I also got to eat the last 3 blueberries from my bush, a delightful reminder of summer.
How many trees have grown up in my life this year that I've completely ignored? Are their tiny roots weaseling their way in, looking for cracks in my foundation?
Normally the onset of winter leaves me with an aching depression, but so far I've been remarkably happy. At the moment, I am content to enjoy the flaming trees and azure sky, the calls of canada geese as they fly through the mist on a frosty October morning. I am trying to remember that, even in the midst of silence and barrenness, vibrant life is waiting to push itself out with a hearty "ta-dah!" and startle me with hope.
Sigh. What on earth am I doing awake at 5:30 on a Sunday morning? I certainly didn't set my alarm to go off this early! It must be a combo of the Daylight Savings Time shift that kicked in a few hours ago and my as-yet-unexplained recent shift from nightowl to lark. Hmm. Well, ok - I'm still a nightowl. But I've also been (spontaneously) waking up absurdly (in my eyes) early. Perhaps this means I'll actually start getting to work on time? :)
Back by special request:
Baby Got Back - Regency Version (text only)
Nickleback - 2 songs at once (hmm... do they seem similar to you, too?)
Things that made me happy today:
vanilla bean tea
saving the cream cheese on top of my bran muffin for the very end
Aidan purring because she's happy I'm home
blue blue blue sky
going outside with a t-shirt and no jacket
the lunch buffet at India Palace
showing my photos to friends
feeling creative
anticipation
spending the evening talking with people I love
coming home to silence after a raucous (but fun) party
good music
wishing on a star before walking into the house
my tree earrings
flannel sheets & down comforters
synchronicity
seeing the good things that are happening in my friends' lives
Stealing History : Tomb Raiders, Smugglers, and the Looting of the Ancient World by Roger Atwood
As an art-lover, history-lover, and art-history major, I find books like this heartbreaking. Stories of looters who dig through tombs, destroying all historical evidence & discarding the less "valuable" artifacts in favor of gold are just as sad as the destruction of the Bamiyan Buddhas in Afghanistan. Though the scale (physically) is much smaller in tomb robbing, the historical losses are probably much greater, due to the sheer numerical volume of objects stolen and destroyed. Sigh.
Don't Eat This Book: Fast Food and the Supersizing of America by Morgan Spurlock
A follow-up to "SuperSize Me", in book form. Not a whole lot of new information, but it was still mildly interesting to read. If you've seen the movie, though, I wouldn't necessarily recommend you spend the time (or money) to read this book.
I came home from Anna's birthday celebration to find a phone message from my friend Sarah in Madison, saying that she's changed her travel schedule and would like me to come visit in a week or so. Very cool, since I didn't think I'd be able to head out there until mid-December.
Hmm. What else did I do after cleaning the living room last night? Oh - I put the Madonna & Child icon mom gave me for Christmas and an angel picture in the "helpful people" area.
This morning I threw out a bunch of old magazines from my office. I returned from a meeting to find an email from somebody who knows one of my freelance clients, asking if I'd be interested in doing some consulting work.
And another thing that's been bothering me for a week (but that I don't want to explain right now) was suddenly taken care of. Woo-hoo! You know, even if it's just coincidence, I'm happy that it's happening.
My boss has been ignoring my emails about a specific project for a week. This has been driving me crazy.
Yesterday afternoon I needed a break from staring at the monitor, so I decided to go ahead and clean out my file cabinet drawer and throw away all my notes from old projects & web page printouts (some dating back to 1999!).
About 15 minutes later I look at my computer & there's an email from him responding to my questions about the project and asking the department head to approve the work I've done so we can finalize it & put it online.
cue Twilight Zone music
I didn't get the design job I interviewed for last week. No big deal. I kind of suspected I wouldn't.
"Mystery is not the absence of meaning, but the presence of more meaning than the mind can comprehend." - Dennis Covington
"Everything that's worthwhile in life is scary. Choosing a school, choosing a career, getting married, having kids -- all those things are scary. If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile." - Paul Tournier
On Saturday I had my first phone chat with DrumBoy and really enjoyed it. I hung up thinking "this is someone I really want to get to know better." Our online chats always make me smile. And I'm remembering how fun flirting can be. (And - strangely - realizing how little of that there was with TheBoy, at least on his part.)
Other than that, there's little to report. There's another guy I just started emailing, but I haven't responded to his last message for a week and I'm not sure why. Today I'm realizing that maybe this reluctance is a sign that something's not right. Then again, it could just be fear.
Still no word on the potential job, but that's ok. All things will work out in good time.
My mood is good today. I don't know whether to attribute it to the beautiful fall colors, the new vitamins I've been taking, or the multitude of ways things in life seem to be fitting together. Ah well. I will enjoy it while it lasts.
The Russian Hill Murders : A Sarah Woolson Mystery by Shirley Tallman
Mildly enjoyable, but ultimately forgettable.
I read this a week or two ago, but forgot about it until I started sorting through my stack of library books to return.
Children of God Go Bowling by Shannon Olson
About half-way through, I realized that I had indeed read this before. But I enjoyed it anyway. For some reason, I really identified with the protagonist's dating struggles.
Bob Greene's Total Body Makeover : An Accelerated Program of Exercise and Nutrition for Maximum Results in Minimum Time by Bob Greene
Yeah. I'm so not doing this. Oh well....
At the Water's Edge : Fish with Fingers, Whales with Legs, and How Life Came Ashore but Then Went Back to Sea by Carl Zimmer
Wow. I'm not sure how I forgot to blog this one; it was one of the most fascinating books I've read all year. Not light reading, but definitely worth plowing through. I finished with a much better grasp of evolution and the development of whales. Excellent.
A day or two ago, our admin assistant called me into her office & showed me a job listing, asking "why haven't you applied for this?" I hemmed & hawed, but she insisted on contacting the HR person for that college & finding out if it was still open & who I'd need to talk to. Yesterday morning I sent an email to the contact, asking if I could just come in and chat with her a bit about the job. She told me to come at 9am today. When I got there, I discovered it was a full-blown interview, rather than just a little chat. Eek.
I think it went fairly well, though. I don't have as much print design experience as they'd like, but I do have some. And in every other way I'm very qualified. Oh - and the best part - because I'm in one of the colleges being affected by the U's restructuring, I get hiring priority. So even though they've already interviewed people, I get bumped toward the top of the list.
So who knows what will happen? I won't be heartbroken if I don't get it, but I can see how it might be a really good change for me.
In other news, DrumBoy is talking about hiring me to do some web design work for him, which is kind of cool. This afternoon I need to finish up some of my other projects, so I have time to work on his.
(Have I mentioned that DrumBoy is really growing on me? The more we IM-chat, the more impressed I am.) There are a couple of other possibilities in the wings, but I don't know enough to have a good sense of whether they'll work out.
So many other things to talk about, but I'll have to do it later. My recent annoyances are a spate of nasty blog spam & some idiot spammers who have been sending out tons of junk mail that looks like it came from one of my domains. Aargh!
But other than that, life is good. Every time I drive through Como Park, I am struck dumb by the beauty around me.
Continuing "old home week", in which Rachel runs into all sorts of people she hasn't seen in a long time....
Last night I got a phone call from Gary, my college pastor, asking if I could come to a Bible study on the St. Paul campus in 1/2 hour. (Now mind you, I talked to him briefly on Saturday, when he called my friend's house while I was there, but other than that it's been... oh... five years since we've talked.) My head had been pounding all afternoon & I said I didn't think I could come, but then I decided to suck it up and go. I got there before Gary did, so I had to make small talk with the students & study leader for a while. (The leader was kind of cute, but didn't even start college until 4 years after I graduated. Not that that made me feel old or anything.) Anyway, Gary showed up with Margo, a woman I had also known quite well while attending my college church.
Assorted thoughts after this: I haven't been in a Bible study in so long. It was really nice to see people from my past who still love me & are glad to see me. I felt strange realizing that I don't know that I could sign their group's statement of belief. I have not had anybody pray in tongues for me in a long, long time. I'd forgotten how accurate Margo is at picking up exactly what's going on with you when she prays. It was a bit freaky. She was restraining herself, but I could tell she was convinced TheBoy is not the one for me. (I've pretty much come to this conclusion, myself.) But she encouraged me to date around some more.
Then this afternoon there was a knock on my cubicle and who should be standing there but James, the guy who used to share my office about 4 years ago. He was back in town visiting family and needed to see some of our professors. The neatest thing was seeing his little boy, who is now almost 5. I remember when he was born & James would bring him to work & he'd sleep in our office all day.
As winter draws in on us, I am being pulled into the past. I wonder why I am suddenly reconnecting with so many people. I wonder what it all means.
I miss the days when faith seemed simple & clear.
Amazing! Who knew a newspaper website would manage to completely avoid including *any* world news on their front page? Oh well. At least the EIGHT mentions of the Vikings sex party are there for us (at 8:40 am on Thursday), in case we missed one of them. Who needs to know about that landslide in Guatemala or the earthquake in Pakistan, anyway?
The redesigned StarTribune site is now completely useless to me, except for movie times & tv listings. Thank goodness for the New York Times & google news.
We need these guys to perform at the Porch. Really & truly. My life will be incomplete until then.
Ok, maybe not. But the flash intro left me cackling at the end. Who knew mimes could be so... exciting and inspirational?
On Friday afternoon I went to see a friend and we had the best visit we've had in years. The past few visits have left me wondering whether to continue the friendship, but this one reminded me of why I like her so much. So that was nice.
I then spent Friday night-Sunday afternoon in Northfield at a mini-reunion for the Carleton Christian community. It was wonderful. I enjoyed seeing old friends, some of whom I haven't seen in almost a decade. We told stories of how God had worked in our lives when we were in college. It was good to be reminded; I'd forgotten a lot. And the current students seemed very interested in hearing our stories. I also found it incredibly encouraging to talk with the students and hear what God is doing there now. As I told them, "we were praying for you 14 years ago and it is just incredible to get to meet you and see how God is working at Carleton now."
I realized that my earlier post about the retreat (where I spoke negatively about the people I was told to invite to be on the discussion panel) was unfair to my friends. I was speaking out of my own insecurities, which embarasses me. So if any of you find my blog, please don't take it personally. There were a few uncomfortable moments, as the organizer kept talking about how the "progressive Christian" group was causing problems with the evangelicals & how liberal & bad they were. But talking with a recent grad about this showed me that this was not necessarily a wide-spread belief within the community.
Then on Sunday at church, a couple of us decided to ditch about 20 minutes in, so we went to get ice cream. The conversation & community certainly fed my spirit more than sitting in the pew for another hour would have. How lovely that God is just as present when I'm walking the labyrinth at Carleton, talking late into the night at a friend's house, or chatting over coffee and ice cream with others as when I'm sitting with everyone at a Sunday gathering.
All-in-all, I feel somewhat less on the edge of faith than I have for quite a while. The cliff-edge has been reinforced (or I have stepped back a foot or two) and I no longer feel in immanent danger of falling over.
Barren in the Promised Land: Childless Americans and the Pursuit of Happiness by Elaine Tyler May
So much of this book made me think of Carla's book. The struggle of women to engage with society's demands for motherhood (whether by choosing to have kids, trying to have them, choosing not to, or being unable to do so) seems like an old, familiar story. What I'm taking with me from this book is the amazing (to me) number of abortions performed in the 19th & early 20th century. (p. 47 - estimated rates for 1800-1830 is one for every 25-30 live births, by mid-century estimated one for every 5 or 6 births, in 1878 in Michigan an estimate said 1/3 of all pregnancies were aborted) That just struck me as very interesting.
Freakonomics : A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
This one seemed a lot more shallow than Blink. I finished the book feeling disappointed & vaguely unsatisfied. There was really nothing I hadn't already heard, though perhaps the book has been quoted so many places. The most "relevant" part of the book was the section showing how crime rates dropped in direct corrolation to the legalization of abortion. I thought of this chapter when I heard William Bennett say aborting all black babies would cut crime. That would be true, regardless of race, according to this book.
Blink : The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell
I enjoyed this one. It left me pondering the things in life that I just know and wondering exactly how I know them. How many of my friendships are with people that I liked within the first minute of meeting them? I finished this book more than a month ago and at that point thought it summed up well the way TheBoy and I just clicked. Now I'll admit I'm not so sure, though I think I was still right about the connection I felt.
Cod: A Biography of the Fish That Changed the World by Mark Kurlansky
Well, I now know more about cod than I ever wanted to. But I'll admit it was interesting; I had no idea just how influential cod fishing has been in the history & development of America and its interactions with the rest of the world. The recipes seemed strange because they all seemed to combine pork & cod; but maybe that's just my vegetarianism speaking. Do you normally eat pork & fish together?
Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh
An interesting book. I was especially struck by the sections on mindfulness. I tend to go through life without actually living in the moment, so this was a good reminder. I read this in Montana, so I can't remember much else about it.
The gray and rain have sapped my strength. Emotions swing back & forth like a tetherball in the wind, whipped around at the mercy of invisible fury. Last night I switched the bed to flannel sheets and slept under 2 down comforters. I awoke in early-morning darkness as my lungs tried to escape my body. Cough. Cough. Well, sleep has been chased away. I am cold. My office is cold. My fingers hurt and I have four and a half more hours of sitting here before I can leave.
I am already dreading winter - the darkness, the cold, the life-sucking tedium of it all. I am afraid of how high my heating bills will be.
This weekend is my mini-reunion with friends from college. I am wondering what I will say. I am wondering how much they will have changed, too. At the moment, my apprehension outweighs my excitement.
Boys are stressful this week. Left a message for TheBoy Tuesday night, but haven't had a response yet. And IM-chatted with DrumBoy a few times this week, which was interesting.
I am confused. I am weary. I want this to be easier.
I really have nothing to say, but I feel like I need to write. So I'm going to sit here and click on the keys as the cats groom themselves nearby.
8:43. I was going to call TheBoy, but decided to wait until tomorrow. I'm tired. All I've accomplished since getting home tonight is cleaning the litter boxes. Now I'm watching "The Office" (Brit version) on DVD. But I'm distracted. All these things I should do, but... well... the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. The humidity today is making me wilt.
This weekend I read much of Marcus Borg's The Heart of Christianity. I'm going to add it to my list of books to buy; I want to make notes to myself in the margin. While reading at Lake Beauty this weekend, I kept thinking "he's putting words around the things I've been thinking and feeling." Of course, there were also large sections where I thought, "hmm... I don't know about that...." But overall, I'm finding it helpful as I struggle to find my place in Christianity.
What will it look like if we focus on the story of God in our time, rather than simply repeating the stories of the past, of others' experiences? (So many of my experiences with church focus on the past, i.e. "Bible times", but do not pay more than lip service to the idea that God is just as active now.)
Has there really been an Asian absence in Xianity? What about Eastern Orthodox? The big churches in Korea? Well, ok, perhaps EO is different. (Is Turkey considered Asia?) How will Buddhism interact w/ the experience of Jesus? How will their expression of Xianity be different? The version in Africa is very different from that in the US.
When the Bible is translated, how well does the story of God truly translate? I feel that the story I know is very different from the version the earliest Christians knew. How much of that is due to cultural differences? How much to language, the imprecision of translation?
Did Jews have the preferred expression of God?
Can gentiles be Xian w/o converting to Judaism?
Can Buddhists be Xian w/o having a western world view? W/o taking on our cultural experience of Jesus? How would Jesus interact with a Muslim?
Dogma - unquestionable "truths" - what dogmas do I currently believe/hold to? what am I rejecting? How many of our dogmas come from cultural understanding?
What did early Xians think of God's hopes & dreams of the world BEYOND the synagogue & temple? What will we think of God's hopes for the future, beyond our sense of church & cultural expression of Xianity? Can people follow Jesus from within another faith tradition? Who has authority? Who is "in charge"? This is a living, burgeoning hope. God's activity is active & present every day & everywhere.
Who is in charge? Who has authority? Do I believe what pastors tell me? The church? The Bible? Why? These days I find myself giving the Bible much less authority in my life than I did in the past. What does it mean for us to think a church looks a certain way? How will this change in the next 50 years as other cultures interact with Jesus? What if the "traditional" church building becomes seen as a negative thing?
Technological advances - genetics, space-time, information - so much has changed and grown just in the 32 years I've been alive. What does the increasing use of artificial body parts (pacemakers, etc.) mean for our humanity? What about genetic manipulation? I read recently that a high-school junior will encounter more information in one day than someone 100 years ago would have encountered in his entire life? How does this affect my understanding of God's place & activity in the world? How do I think about the ethical questions involved in new technology? How will communities of faith help us find answers to these questions?
Doug - the gospel is far better positioned for interaction in a spiritual society than it was in a secular society. In some ways, I agree. In my experience, I always found people involved in the new age & those who considered themselves "spiritual" to be far more open to & interested in God than those around me who were completely focused on the material world.
Christ's return - what happens if/when this takes place? How will we recognize it? Since the first coming was unexpected (and largely unnoticed), will the second coming be equally unexpected & unnoticed? Will we reject it? Will I believe in the Jesus who appears, if he doesn't match up with my idea of who he is?
Be mindful of God's engagement in this world.
What makes Xianity so fundamental that it can transcend time & circumstances?
Good news: God's alive in the world right now. Rearrange your life & get involved in the agenda of God.
What will it look like if we give up the trappings of Christianity & simply live lives that follow Jesus? (My thoughts: less time spent memorizing Bible memory verses, more time loving the people around us, less focus on buildings & creating our own little culture so that we don't have to interact with "them")
I really like serving communion to people. There's something personal and intimate in tipping the glass of wine to my friends' lips and saying "The blood of Christ shed for you, Jeff/Doug/Erik/Janelle."