I arrived at work this morning and started working my way through a stack of emails and page updates, feeling like I was still entwined in the dreamworld of only an hour or so earlier. It's now almost 2 and I'm still not sure I've fully escaped. Regardless, I feel somewhat out-of-sorts.
In the first dream, I was one of several adults helping a group of children swim. Then something went wrong and the room with the pool started to fill with water, until there was no longer anything but pool. In an attempt to rescue them, we started grabbing kids and pulling them into the elevator, which went up several floors to the hospital. (Hmm. This reminds me just now that I had a dream a month ago involving a swimming pool in a hospital....) When I went down the elevator to get more kids, it started twisting around and turned into a trash compactor. For some reason it stopped before crushing me.
In the second dream, I was back at Carleton and ran into my old friend Drew. Then I realized it was the first day of classes and I didn't know what I was taking or where to go and I couldn't figure out how to find out. Very stressful. This is a dream I have all the time, yet it never gets any easier.
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This morning we planted seeds before breakfast. I'm looking forward to seeing new life that we created. (Well, ok... helped along.....)
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Speaking of change & new beginnings.... any of you want to offer me a job? I got an email from my boss that left me feeling down today, as it seems the new college has little respect for my skills or interest in using them. I'd thought I could stick it out through the transition and that possibly life in the new college would be more interesting. But now I see that, if I stay, I'll probably be relegated to the equivalent of help-desk support for websites. And that's not any fun.
1 0 0 Q u e s t i o n s (give or take, as some numbers seem to be missing)
01: ever tasted blood?: yes (my own)
02: Made out with JUST a friend?: no
03: Been rejected?: yes
04: Been in love?: yes
05: Been in lust? yes
06: Used someone?: probably
07: Been used?: I think so
08: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: no
09: Fooled around with someone of the same sex?: no
10: Been on a date? yes, but not many
11: Done something you regret?: of course
W h o w a s t h e l a s t p e r s o n t h a t . . .
12: You touched?: Morgan
13: You talked to?: coworkers
14: You hugged?: Morgan
15: You instant messaged?: Morgan
17: You yelled at?: one of the pets. probably the dog, but maybe one of the cats
18: You laughed at?: Morgan :)
D o y o u ?
20: Go to school? only to work
21: Have a crush?: yes. and I'm going to marry him! :)
22: Color your hair?: occasionally
24: Have Piercings?: 1 in each ear
25: Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?: just one boyfriend fiance
26: Floss daily?: no
27: Have a best bud?: several
28: Ever get off the damn computer?: rarely
29: Sprechen sie deutsche?: yes, and I used to be fluent
30: Hablas espanol?: well, I can order a beer & ask for the bathroom
31: Do you have a job?: yes
G e n e r a l Q u e s t i o n s
32: Hobbies?: reading, art, assorted crafty-things, web design
33: Are you a people person?: occasionally
36: Have you been out of the country?: hell yes.
37: When was the last time you went on vacation?: vacation? what is this word?
38: Are you a virgin?: I'm going to plead the 5th.
39: Do you share a room?: yes
40: Considered a life of crime?: yes
41: Considered being a hooker?: briefly, ages ago
42: Considered being a pimp?: no
43: Can you ride a bike?: yes
44: Can you swim?: yes
45: Schizophrenic?: the voices in my head tell me I'm not ;)
46: Obsessive?: sometimes
47: Obsessive compulsive?: only about certain things
48: Panic?: every now and then
49: Anxiety?: of course
50: Depressed?: not so much these days
51: Suicidal?: no
52: Obsessed with Hate?: no
53: Dream of mutilated bodies?: no
54: Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them?: no (hmm. I don't like this last set of questions....)
R a n d o m S t u f f . . .
55: If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?: curled up in front of a fireplace with my boy, drinking tea & reading & looking at the mountains & lake just outside the window
56: What would you be doing?: oh. guess I already answered that.
57: Do you hate anyone?: no
58: What are you listening to?: the clack of someone's shoes as she walks down the hallway, the click of my keyboard keys, radiator rattles
59: Can you do anything freakish?: I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Does that count?
61: Do you have a favorite animal?: cats
C u r r e n t l y :
62: Current Clothes: jeans, black turtleneck
63: Current Mood: tired
64: Current Taste: chai tea
65: Current Hair: long & relatively unmessy
66: Current Annoyance: hmm. dunno.
67: Current Smell: chai tea
68: Current thing I ought to be doing: work
69: Current Desktop Picture: beautiful photo of red/orange canyon walls
70: Current Favorite Band: dunno. Storyhill?
71: Current Book: several - Concious Conception, a mystery starring Jane Austen, a book about the history of weddings
72: Current DVD In Player: none
73: Current Refreshment: chai tea
74: Current Drama: ?
F a v o r i t e s :
75: Place: the woods
76: Food: spinach, Karamel Sutra ice cream, grapefruit
77: drink: water
78: Color: green
79: Shoes/Sandals: my black every-day shoes
80: Candy: good chocolate
81: Animal: cat
82: Movie: all of the Jane Austen movies, Monsoon Wedding, Cinema Paradiso, Princess Bride
83: Dance: swing
84: Vegetable: spinach
F u t u r e :
85: What do you want to be when you get older?: happy
86: Married?: soon!
87: Kids?: soon!
88: Living Where?: here, for now.
T h i s o r T h a t :
89: Gay or straight?: straight
90: Boxers or Briefs?: it matters not
91: Reading or Writing: reading wins by a nose
92: Basketball or Baseball: neither
93: Walking or Running?: walking
94: Face-to-face or Instant Messenger?: IM
95: Left or Right?: right (handed, that is)
96: TV Shows or Movies?: TV
97: Britney or Christina?: ick. no.
98: Rap or Rock?: rock
99: Day or Night?: night
100. What do people call you?: Rachel, my love, Rach, "hey you"
Yesterday I came home from work to discover the first green blades pushing through the dirt by the mailbox. I can't begin to tell you how much this thrilled me; the promise of life & hope & spring finally starting to come to pass.
After so many months of snow and cold, I can no longer remember what plant will sprout there. Iris? Tulips? Crocus? Well, whatever it is, I rejoice. I rejoice, too, in the smell of rain and mud, that sweet-humid scent drifting through my open office window.
In the same way, after a long, barren winter, spring has returned to my life and my heart and I am glad.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-- Robert Frost